The Best Version of Only Hope, imho

- I found this post-in-progress that I never got around to publishing... It may not reflect where I am right now, but in the spirit of nostalgia, I decided to publish it - 

"Only Hope" is a beautiful song by Switchfoot of beautiful desperation. Jon Foreman cries out that God is his only hope, as the title suggests; it was featured in the movie A Walk to Remember in which the protagonist cried out from her cancer bed.

I've been watching a Korean drama called Dream High. It's about a group of students who enter into an Art High School, dream, and attempt to achieve their dreams. It takes viewers on a journey, showing them what these kids did to get to where they were foreshadowed to be in the beginning of the series. Obviously, the soundtrack for this show is highly recommended, as there is careful attention put into every track of a soundtrack where music has such a strong presence on the show.
The show is currently more than halfway over but as I was listening to a short track from the soundtrack, a song sang in the second episode of the series, I found a certain Beauty in the broken English of the singer. The singer is young Suzy Bae from MissA and the song she sang was "Only Hope" by Switchfoot. I found the scene on youtube. Listen to the audio as you read this entry, please, and hear me out, figuratively.

The lyrics for "Only Hope", found here, are undoubtedly written from a humble stance. And this is what's so Beautiful about the broken English of the singer as she sings this song: her broken English also forces her to be humble. Listen to the vowel sounds she uses when she says words like "lay" and "head". Listen to the incorrect grammar in the first verse when instead of "There's a song that I've tried to write over and over and over again", she sing "There's a song that I try to write over and over and over again"; and then listen to the wrong vowel sound she uses when she sings that again, again! Perhaps you don't share my sentiment: that broken English is jus' darn cute! But you cannot deny that the lack of mastery over the language that this singer has, the more humble it makes her sound.
I've heard many versions of this song including the well-known Mandy Moore version featured in A Walk to Remember and the original songwriter Switchfoot's version. However, I can't help but think, given the humble stance from which the lyrics were originally intended, the best version I've heard is a young Korean girl singing it with broken English.

It's hard to prove how humble speaking broken English makes people until you've interacted with Asians (or any other peoples) for whom English is a second language. Being a teacher at various Korean institutes, I've seen brilliant minds humbly come to me and feast upon every word I said. I've taught a judge, a writer, the head of an architectural company, a professor, and other brilliant minds, but when they came to me with their broken English, they knew they couldn't hide their lacking in the area of English. They couldn't put on a facade, and because of this inability, they were forced to be humble. It can be seen everywhere!

I would argue that this lack of facade entitles them to power that someone with perfect pronunciation never has access to.  Due to their inability, they have the power to be honest, and to learn... fully, perfectly, enjoyably...

I wish this lack of facade could be imposed on more areas of life. Life would be a lot easier if one who could not pronounce an "r" could plainly admit it. We all are lacking in some areas, and we all excel in others. Let's get it more in the open!

Examination

"To Thine own self be True", Polonius, the wordsmith, tells his son Laertes in Hamlet, telling him that you can deceive others but you must remain True to yourself, with noble intentions.

"The unexamined Life is not worth Living", Socrates told the trial who was ready to kill him for his outlandish ideals and dangerous, daring philosophy.

And yet...


I saw something today. A younger friend of mine, still in high school, was carrying an English binder. He had asked me to hold this binder momentarily, during which I began to thumb through it. I ran across something in his notes labeled "Why we write". I looked at the bullet points underneath it.
"To be more analytical"
"To be more reflective"
"To communicate more effectively"

And I wondered... exactly how analytical and reflective do I want to be??? What kind of Hulks or Mr. Hydes will I find? How many wrinkles and tears will I find on the self-portrait hidden in my room? What if I find I am more like Adam than Jesus?

You see, I have this image that I have built for myself. And though I believe it is a fair representation of who I am, how afraid am I that this image is nothing more than a hologram of who I want to be? Something substance-less?
Am I the deep, reflective, just, manly, perhaps king-like, Jesus-like, brotherly, Loving man that I want to be? Or is Wormtonge constantly whispering in my ear, convincing me all is well? Nothing needs to change?

Of course I am much like Adam. Of course I am imperfect. And of course I can be deceived still, much like Theoden, of Rohan.
For those of you who do not remember Lord of the Rings, let me fill you in. Theoden is the King of Rohan, though he's being manipulated and deceived by Grima Wormtongue (or perhaps you can say Saruman is responsible). Wormtongue drives Theoden to the point of numb-ness - to the extent that he doesn't even realize when his son has died in battle. He doesn't realize the torment of having to bury his own son until Gandalf the White and Aragorn, the True King of Gondor (a neighboring Human villiage), free him from the grip of Grima Wormtongue. Immediately, he exiles Grima and asks for his sword and his son. In the moment of triumph where he is reassured that he can still maneuver his sword, he is told that his son has died, which leads him to a mournful burial - where he laments that no father should ever have to bury their own son.

Writing can open the doors for Gandalf. Or Aragorn. However, do I want them to barge in?
Having them barge in means yes, being able to wield my own sword again, but it also means I have to assume the responsibilities Theoden had to. It means I have to bury my son. Do I prefer to be numb? Or do I prefer to have Gandalf free me from the darkness and bring me into the Light? time, after time, after time again?







I prefer Light.
I enjoy Abiding in The Truth - the burials and swordsmanship.
I Love Life.
and I Love Love.

Wading into Treacherous Waters

I feel like Meg Ryan's character in You've Got Mail in a moving scene where she writes to NY152, her email penpal. She writes "I just wanted to send this question out into the cosmic void. So, Good night, dear void." I want a space on the Internet that I can claim to be my own - where I won't necessarily tell too many of my friends about it. In the past, I have had other blogs that were extremely accessible and I always got feedback, which I appreciated greatly... but sometimes, it seemed... awkward. You see, to be quite honest, there were certain people whose feedback I didn't care much for.
Not only is writing a means of communication for me, but it is also therapuetic and introspective. And with my other blogs, I had many unfamiliar faces gazing upon my journeys. Perhaps I am more comfortable with faceless individuals in my audience, along with a controlled number of familiar faces (people I may tell this url to).
What inspired me to create this blog? I was in a sober, contemplative mood after watching a movie... A Korean melodrama called 연애소설 (A Lover's Concerto). Also, the feeling that I need some catharsis. I feel as if I'm a ball suspended in mid-dribble, waiting to make contact with the warm pulsing hand of someone, or even just to slam hard onto concrete, just so I can feel reality. Interesting, isn't it?

This is an odd entry, though I believe I won't ever delete it. It's reflective on who I am now, whether I like it or not =)

As you can probably tell... I LOVE movies...
The title of my blogspot is "Infinite Abyss" - a phrase from the wonderful movie Garden State, and I mentioned two movies in this blog. Yes, I do :)
Theology, Movies Art, Literature, Theater, Music, Philosophy - these are all my passions and things that inspire me, as you will see in my blog (if you decide to continue on my journey in the "Infinite Abyss" with me :D lol)

I bid you Good Luck exploring your Infinite Abyss - whatever mysterious chasm that may be... Bid me Good Fortune on exploring mine =D

Yearning for the bittersweet taste of Truth,
Bobby